Bullies Never Realise

 They act like I'm taking the wrong decision. They act like this is the best place. They act like other people is devil meanwhile they're all angels. They don't know I got all this mental illnes because of their behavior. They don't know this place gives me traumas and me ended up having gerd. They will never know and they don't want to know.

Nobody knows future. I'm just trying to save myself. I just want to be sane again. I will reborn and be the new me. I will end this nightmares and heal my wound.

Like a Pingpong Ball

Once again keputusan resign lebih awal terdengar salah. And the like a couple hours later, my heart would say retire earlier is a great decision. Once I feel tired and need rest from everything, and then I worry about money and shit. Where actually I shouldn't be worry about that. 

Rasa-rasanya tidak ada salahnya memakai uang tabungan yang sudah aku timbun beberapa tahun. I worked hard for that. Tidak ada salahnya beristirahat sebentar dan memakai hasil jerih payah yang udah aku usahakan. And also, I still earn money monthly. Well, udah ngga dinaungi editor lagi, but I can independently publish my webtoon and get money from that.

There's nothing to be worry about. I should stop overthink everything. Kamu layak beristirahat. Kamu layak rebahan di kasur dan tidak memikirkan apapun. Kamu layak menonaktifkan whatsapp untuk berhari-hari dan hidup di duniamu sendiri. Kamu layak untuk memulihkan mentalmu dan menjadi sehat lagi. 

All that bad memories, and all that bad scenario created automatically in my head, embrace them until they're gone. Admit all your feelings and then forgive it. Jadilah sehat.